Sorry I have not been writing for awhile. Sometimes I wonder if I am just repeating myself. Lately a few of us have been talking about the frustration of having a Thyroid Disease. Yes it is frustration we just can not seem to get rid of. Some of you have more than one disease because of your Thyroid Disease, some of you have an auto immune disease of some sort. My biggest frustration I think is dealing with people that just can’t or won’t even try to understand what it is like to be in our shoes. So many of us just don’t look sick or like there is anything wrong with us. Some of us are skinny and some of us are fat.. Some of us are doing better than others. We have good days and we have bad days. We celebrate a good day. A bad day…..well it is just plain Hell for many of us. Moist of our days are probably in between…but tend to go more to the bad than to the good. If people only knew how hard we try to fit in again with normal people doing normal everyday things. We have to adjust and adjust again. We are constantly adjusting to fit in to make our life fit in with those around us. Our tempers flair up and our moods shift on us constantly. Some of us are so tired we fall asleep doing dish’s. People ask us…”Why are you so tired all the time…you don’t do anything to be so tired.” Maybe we are so tired just because we are fighting to stay awake. It has been suggested to me to take more vitamins, to eat healthier, to exercise more, get out more and get some sunshine and fresh air. Gee….now why didn’t I think of all those things. I know more about a healthy diet than a lot of people. I painfully walk as much as I can. I would love to go out more. But bumping into people and falling down in a strange place or a store…well that gets old. People staring and looking at you funny…that also gets old. Just as people giving me all their advice on how I should do things. Excuse me I have been living with this disease for 12 years or more. I think by now I do know a bit about it.
As for going outdoors and getting fresh air and sunshine……that is a wonderful dream for some of us. Some of us even wear sunglass’s in the house and do not use a fan or air conditioner on the hottest days. Why not??? Because we can’t . If we do our eyes will feel like they are on fire. I would love to go outside everyday like I use to and sit in the bright sunshine and feel the breeze with out pain. Those day’s Thank God happen to me once in awhile. Yesterday I was able to go fishing and sit outside. But I took my pain medicine, coated my eyes, put in my eye drops, wore wrap around very dark sun glass’s and a wide brimmed hat. I sat at the edge of the water on my chair with my blanket. My husband made sure the wind was at my back and the car behind me to block as much breeze as possible. We also went later in the day when it was not so bright and kind of cloudy. We have tinted windows in the car and I sat in the car most of the time. But it was a wonderful day. I had very little pain…as I walked very little and was covered up pretty good. As I said we adjust. A few years ago I would have been panning for gold as I waited for a fish to bite. Or I would have been walking up and down the shore looking for fossils. I pretty much sat in my chair while looking at the ground hoping to find a fossil. This is my life now. Right now my husband is back at the lake fishing and here I am. I have been sleeping a lot today as I do after any outing. My eyes are not to bad today…but I am not going to push it.
No we may not look sick. I might look like just a fat crazy old lady dressed funny….If not for Thyroid Disease I might not be AS fat…but I probably would still act crazy and dress funny. Maybe that is why some people do not think I am sick. I have always been a bit funny . Dressing with big hats and sun glass’s ….that would be a no. High heels, make up , laughing and out dancing every chance I got …well that sounds more like I would have been doing . Going camping and cooking out doors and hiking the hills looking for arrow heads…that would have been me. Giving speech’s to large crowds…running for an office or giving instructions to Santa’s….that was me. It took me 7 long years to get up in front of people to give another speech. I plan to give one in May again at a larger Thyroid Coffee Break in Denver. This will also be out doors. Last May I paid for that out door speech for 3 days after. But, I will do it again. If I can help just one of you., it is worth it. I know what FRUSTRATION is. I live with it everyday.