As I said my dad planned everything he did. Even his clothes were color coordinated. He never even wore a pair of jeans that I know of . Two days before he left us he hardly ate. The day before nothing not even water. He did not like anything messy. He wanted Cremation because he did not want anybody touching him and kissing him after his death. Yes, he was a strange one. Who am I to talk... kind of strange myself with this Graves' Disease. One thing he did teach me is to write down everything. So glad of that. I have daily logs from way back, that I keep . Sure helps me to remember things that I tend to forget with this disease. It has only been the last few months that I have been able to go through his things. My brothers did not want anything material..so I got it all. I know that would be strange to most families. But as I said my Dad planned everything and had asked them a long time ago what if anything they would want. They only wanted a couple of his paintings. Well, they already had those. His passing was as clean and planned as anything could be. Thank God. Because when I found him I guess my husband found me sitting there screaming, crying and dazed. I really don't remember much of it. His funeral was as he wanted it. His things still packed and ready for me to go through at my leisure. No arguing over things. A few years before we had a big Birthday party for him. So family saw him that he wanted to see and wanted to see him. All planned. Yet, with all the planning, I have a hard time with it still. I worry to death about waking and finding my husband not breathing. I stay still and listen for him breathing. I panic some times if I don't hear him moving around the house. I cry for no reason, I get scared for no reason. So, for those of you going through a death in your family or still not over one. I just want you to know no matter how well you plan... a death is a death and it seems to hit us very hard. Not that it does not hit anybody else hard. It does. Some of you I talk to about death in a family seem to have the same panic attacks. Grieving is one thing. But to get a panic attack on top of it. I don't remember a feeling like this when there were other close deaths in the family.
To lighten things up a bit I leave you with this.
" Enough about me. So, where did your parents go wrong?"