There are 5 stages a person goes through if they find out they have a disease, if they find out they are dying , if they find out somebody they care about is or did die. Knowing these 5 stages may help a person . You may not like it but at one time or another we will all have to face one or more. WE all will face at least one. Because like it or not we will all die one day and we will all lose somebody dear to us. The hard part is losing a loved one unexpectedly by accident, by suicide or illness. These are things we have no control over. II wish there was a magic wand to wave and these things would not happen but they do. These things happen everyday. We all tell ourselves it happens to other people not to me not to my family. Not to my friend, not to somebody I know. Never happen. Right! Think again.
Anger: Say you just found out you or a loved one has a disease. Some are treatable but not curable. That is what I have. So I have been there …done that. I was so mad ..so upset. I cried , I screamed, I threw things and then came….
Denial: I told my self the same thing as everybody else. And don’t think you won’t. I told myself….The test are wrong, this can’t be happening to me, I will go and get a second opinion. So I do that. The second opinion is the same , the test are the same, Oh, I am not getting out of this one. Next comes
Bargaining: Maybe if I pray…it will be ok. Maybe if I give up something or change the things I love to do. Maybe if I try to be a better person. Maybe if I try a different medicine…go to a different kind of doctor. Maybe if….Maybe if……. Then it hit’s me and it hit’s hard.
Depression: I can not do this . I can not live my life like this. I have things to do . I have to work. I have a family to take care of. I just can’t do this. My life is over. I will never live a normal life again. What is the use of even trying. The pain is so bad, the medication is so hard to deal with, the ugly remarks and looks I get…I can not stand them. What is the use of even trying. I might as well get this over with and end it all now. I don’t feel like doing anything any more. I do not want to talk to or see anybody. And then if we are lucky in comes …
Acceptance: Ok buckle up. So life is not fair. We can not all have a perfect life with no downs. Everybody will have an up and down journey in this life. Some things we may not be able to change …but we can learn to live with it. We can try to make our life better. We can find out what can help me do that. We can talk to others and get advice. Yes! There are things I still can do. My life is not over. I just have to adjust and find another way of doing things. Yes, I can do this. It will be hard…sometimes real hard. But I am strong in mind and in heart. I have a family to live for, to do things for. I can not…I will not let this beat me. So on ward and up ward. Nothing is going to stop me now.
So, I learned to live with my Grave’s Disease. But then…..it was not over. I thought it was going to be ok. I had learned to accept my illness. Then here comes the sucker punch…whammmm right in the eye. Yes the eye, actually both of my eye’s. I was told I had Thyroid Eye Disease. So, here I go again. Down the road of the 5 stages. You would think …Ok I have already done this . So, there am yelling and being angry …AGAIN. Now nine eye surgeries later I am finely in acceptance.
But it is not over. AGAIN???? What now??? Well now my dad dies. I find him. He was not sick. He just gave up. Any way that is another story for another day. The thing is I went through the 5 stages yet again. So then I think …Now I can get a breather. And settle down. Yeah right! Now my husband get’s cancer and has a 10% chance of making it through the surgery. Here comes that darn 5 stages again. But now I am ahead of the game. I now know what to expect. I am stronger now. Just knowing what to expect has helped me. I know one day some thing else will hit me. But, now I think (???) I can handle it better. Oh I will still go through the 5 stages…they are part of life…my life. But now I know I can and will survive it. That is also life. Don’t give up and don’t give in. Let yourself go and travel the 5 stages. It does not, is not, will not get better. Yet understanding that you can get to the acceptance stage. IF you want to. Do not get pulled down and stay in the Depression stage. There is danger there. There may be death there. There may be suicide there. Have hope…have faith. You can do this.